Literally speaking, relationship is the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.
At Business and Values, we consider relationship to be one of the most intense experience of being, living and loving.
As well as an access to self-awareness and beyond.
Having said that, most of our relationships are nothing but essential and profound.
Unlike what we try to convince ourselves, they are fake news, imprisoned in the limits of thought, with no connection to reality.
The relationship we know.
Two sets of images.
The image I created about myself and the image I created about yourself.
The image you created about myself and the image you created about yourself.
Two sets of minds.
Mine, seeking for its own desires and escaping from its own tears and fears.
Yours, seeking for its own desires and escaping from its own tears and fears.
Result in a complete mess.
A set of divisions between each other.
An isolation from each other.
A couple of self-centered isolations.
Which result in fantasy land mind drawings, escape games of all kind, and unlimited conflicts.
We may feel happy, we may feel sad, we may live with somebody, and even say we love each other, whatever that means for us.
But we are not truly in relation with each other.
Since our artificial relation is between images, that is based on ideas, memories, theories, conclusions…
In other words, an abstraction, nothing real!
The dramatic consequences of this type of relationship.
If you do not resolve this problem, you are a part of the problem,
for yourself, for your loved ones, for your working mates, and for the many.
If you do not resolve this problem, you are contributing to the problem,
to the corruption, to the division and to the violence of the world.
Where there is division, there is conflict, there is fear, there is sadness, and there is NO love.
The pursuit of a shared future, of peacefulness, of pleasure, of contentment, NONE of this is love either.
At the moment you picture a target in your relationship, an ideal future, a meaningful purpose, you create an image of it.
And, trying to reach this unreal projection of yours, you loose connexion with reality and create all kind of divisions.
A division between who you are and where you are, and who you would like to be and where you would like to be.
A division between you and the person you are in relation with. And vice versa.
If you are really determined to bring a radically different type of being within yourself and within the world,
you will no longer tolerate this type of relationships.
You will realize that, the more you think about it, the more you get lost within your brain.
The more you try and feel it, the more you waste you precious energy in all kind of directions.
So you will enquiry to find out what else you can do apart from getting pushed back and forth by your thoughts and your emotions.
So long as you don’t find out, you keep on contributing to the brutality of the world, your intimate world and beyond,
And that’s the reason why may decide from now on to put all your energy into this quest!
Is there another type of relationship?
We see clearly that there is NO REAL relationship because our relationships are based on images, that are not real but abstract.
Is it possible to live our relationships without images?
Without abstractions, comparisons, measurements, knowledge, conclusions.
First, we need to observe these phenomena, as well as ourselves, and the other too.
To observe with full attention.
If we observe as we are used to, as an outsider, we will create more images.
If we observe as profoundly as possible, there will not be no more image creation.
In this observation, there is no judgment any longer. There is no “like/dislike”, which would again be within the field of images creation.
In this observation, there is no division, that is no division between the observer, the observation and the observed.
When division disappears, your self disappears, and you are the image.
And, while you stay there, the image may disappear too and all is left is you and all the rest of the creation, beyond the self.
How does it translate in concrete terms?
No matter what you tell me,
No matter the context, the tone of voice, the actions.
Is it possible for me neither to be hurt nor to be flattered by you?
Is it possible for me to pay so much attention to you and what you’re telling me, that there is no place for “I”, no place for my “self”, and therefore no one left to be hurt or to be pleased?
When I am hurt, what is it which is hurt?
It is the image of myself I created and the distance between this image and the image I brought from what you said. This division, this resistance can hurt big time, indeed.
Now, if there is no “I”, there is no boarder to pass or to be distant from, there is no ground for comparison, so there is no one to hurt or to flatter, isn’t it?
This is your life!
So please, try. Go for it! It is NOT a theoretical question. It is NOT a mind game.
The intention is nothing, and even worse. Why? Because being intentional, being purpose driven or values driven is being in an “images creation” form of living. Which will inevitably lead you to inward and outward conflicts.
The theory is nothing, and even worse. Because you may intellectually understand all this and have the impression you’ve reached the sky. When in fact, you’ve most likely just created another image of what the sky is.
You must go on the court of your life and find out your own path into this!
And find out.
Can you live your daily live without a single comparison?
Without a single intention?
Without a single image?
Minute after minute. Hour after hour.
You’ve probably never been there.
This appears to be extremely difficult at first,
especially when we’ve been raised and when we’ve been living since then in a totally different manner.
We’re not used to dig on our own.
We’re used to comply or to reject.
To say Yes or No, when there is nothing to say and everything to discover, underneath.
Being in a REAL Relationship.
How would our relationship look like if our mind and our emotions were not in the driving seats?
A relationship which is NOT governed by images and ideas,
By goals and purposes,
By needs and demands,
By intentions and judgments,
By desires, frustrations, and course for gratification,
By escape and fear mechanisms,
The virtuous cycle and mirror effect.
Relationship is an access to self-awareness.
Self-awareness is an access to true relationships with one.
True relationship with one is an access for true relationships with many.
From Thinking to Being.
Thinking about relationship is not being in relationship.
Thinking about love is not being in love.
Full comprehension is not an intellectual process.
It is experiential. It is an enquiry. A confrontation with your daily life.
Wish you a wonderful onward journey!
Go and find out!
Beyond the known,
Beyond the self,